Taming the Beast: A Guide to Dealing with Dominant Partners

Taming the Beast: A Guide to Dealing with Dominant Partners

As a love and relationships psychology guru, I have seen many couples struggle with the dynamics of a dominant partner. It can be a challenging situation to navigate, but it is not impossible. In fact, with the right tools and techniques, you can learn to tame the beast and create a healthy and balanced relationship.

The Challenge of a Dominant Partner

A dominant partner can be defined as one who has a strong personality and tends to take control in the relationship. While this can be a positive trait in some situations, it can also lead to power struggles, feelings of resentment, and a lack of communication.

It is important to note that a dominant partner is not necessarily an abusive partner. However, if the dominance is not balanced with respect and consideration for the other partner, it can become a toxic situation.

My Personal Experience

As a love and relationships psychology guru, I have worked with many couples dealing with dominant partners. But I have also had personal experience with this dynamic. In my past relationships, I have both been the dominant partner and dealt with a dominant partner.

Through my personal and professional experience, I have learned effective strategies for taming the beast and creating a healthy and balanced relationship. In this article, I will share these strategies with you.

  • Understanding the root cause of dominance
  • Effective communication techniques
  • Establishing boundaries
  • Building trust and respect
  • And more…

dominance and submission in relationships

Understanding Dominant Partners

Dealing with a dominant partner can be a challenging task. Dominance is a complex trait that can manifest in various forms, including physical, emotional, and mental domination. Understanding the nature of dominance is crucial to managing it in a relationship. In this section, we will explore the definition of dominance, why some people are dominant, and the effects of dominance on relationships.

Defining Dominance

Dominance is the tendency to control or influence others. It can be expressed in many ways, including being assertive, aggressive, or manipulative. Dominant people tend to have a strong sense of self and are not afraid to express their opinions or desires. They may also have a need to be in control of situations and people around them.

Why Some People Are Dominant

There are several reasons why some people are dominant. Some of the factors that contribute to dominance include upbringing, personality traits, and life experiences. For example, individuals who grew up in a controlling environment may develop dominant tendencies as a way to cope with their childhood experiences. Additionally, people with certain personality traits, such as high levels of confidence and self-esteem, may be more likely to exhibit dominant behavior. Finally, life experiences, such as success in business or personal relationships, may also contribute to the development of dominant traits.

The Effects of Dominance on Relationships

Dominance can have both positive and negative effects on relationships. On the one hand, dominant partners may be seen as confident and assertive, which can be attractive qualities. Additionally, dominant partners may be more likely to take charge in a relationship, which can lead to a sense of security and stability for their partner.

On the other hand, dominance can also lead to problems in a relationship. Dominant partners may be controlling, dismissive of their partner’s needs and feelings, and may use manipulation or coercion to get what they want. This can lead to feelings of resentment, anger, and frustration on the part of the partner who is being dominated. Additionally, dominant partners may struggle to compromise or work collaboratively with their partner, which can lead to conflict and tension in the relationship.

Positive Effects Negative Effects
Confidence and assertiveness Controlling and dismissive behavior
Security and stability Manipulation and coercion
Difficulty compromising and collaborating

Overall, understanding the nature of dominance is crucial to managing it in a relationship. While dominant partners can bring positive qualities to a relationship, it is important to be aware of the negative effects that dominance can have and to work together to find a healthy balance in the relationship.

dominant partner behavior

Signs of a Dominant Partner

Being in a relationship with a dominant partner can be a challenging experience. It is important to recognize the signs of a dominant partner in order to address the issue and prevent it from escalating.

Controlling Behavior

A dominant partner often exhibits controlling behavior. They may try to control what you wear, who you spend time with, and what you do. This behavior can be subtle or overt, but it is always aimed at limiting your autonomy.


Your partner insists that you quit your job because they think it takes up too much of your time, even though you enjoy your work and it is a significant source of income for you.

Jealousy and Possessiveness

A dominant partner may also display jealousy and possessiveness. They may become upset if you talk to someone of the opposite sex or spend time with friends without them. This behavior stems from a deep-seated fear of losing control over you.


Your partner becomes angry and accuses you of cheating when you mention a male co-worker’s name.

Lack of Empathy

A dominant partner may lack empathy for your feelings and needs. They may dismiss your concerns and prioritize their own desires above yours. This behavior can make you feel unimportant and undervalued.


Your partner insists on going out with friends even though you are sick and need their support. They refuse to stay home with you and tell you to “just deal with it.”

Refusal to Compromise

A dominant partner may refuse to compromise on issues that are important to you. They may insist on having their way and disregard your opinions and feelings. This behavior can lead to resentment and frustration.


Your partner insists on buying a new car even though you cannot afford it and have suggested a more practical option. They refuse to compromise and accuse you of not supporting their decisions.

Recognizing these signs of a dominant partner is the first step in addressing the issue. It is important to communicate your feelings and set boundaries in order to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.

dealing with a dominant partner

How to Deal with a Dominant Partner

Dealing with a dominant partner can be challenging and emotionally draining. It’s important to remember that you have the right to be respected and treated as an equal in your relationship. Here are some tips on how to deal with a dominant partner:

Communicate Openly and Honestly

The most important thing you can do is communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Let them know how their behavior is affecting you and how it makes you feel. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements to avoid placing blame or accusations.

For example, instead of saying “You always try to control everything,” say “I feel like my opinions aren’t valued when you make decisions without consulting me.”

Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

It’s important to set boundaries and stick to them. Let your partner know what behaviors are not acceptable to you and what consequences will occur if those boundaries are crossed. It’s important to follow through with those consequences to show your partner that you are serious about your boundaries.

For example, if your partner tries to control your social life and you’ve set a boundary that you will make plans with friends without their permission, follow through with those plans even if your partner protests.

Build Your Self-Esteem

A dominant partner can often make you feel like you are not good enough or that your opinions don’t matter. It’s important to build your self-esteem and remind yourself of your worth. Take time to do things that make you feel good about yourself and surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.

Consider Couples Therapy

If you feel like you’ve tried everything and are still struggling to deal with your dominant partner, consider couples therapy. A therapist can help you both communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, and work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to the dominant behavior.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and love in your relationship. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and seek help if you need it.

dominant partner and relationship satisfaction


Dealing with a dominant partner can be challenging, but it is important to remember that you have the right to set boundaries and communicate your needs. It is also important to understand that dominance can stem from insecurity or past experiences, and it may be beneficial for both partners to seek therapy to work through these issues.

Remember that a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and communication. If your partner refuses to respect your boundaries and continues to exhibit controlling behavior, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship and consider ending it.

Don’t be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if you are struggling to deal with a dominant partner. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe, respected, and valued.

Key Takeaways

  • Set boundaries and communicate your needs
  • Understand that dominance can stem from insecurity or past experiences
  • Consider seeking therapy to work through these issues
  • A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and communication
  • If your partner refuses to respect your boundaries, consider ending the relationship
  • Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if you are struggling


  • Communicate your needs
  • Set boundaries
  • Seek therapy if needed
  • Take care of yourself
  • Compromise your values or beliefs
  • Allow your partner to control you
  • Ignore red flags
  • Stay in an unhealthy relationship

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