Long Distance Relationships in College: How to Make It Work
As a love and relationships psychology guru, I have seen my fair share of long distance relationships. I have also experienced them firsthand, particularly during my college years. While long distance relationships can be difficult in any stage of life, they can be especially challenging during college.
My Experience with Long Distance Relationships
During my college years, I was in a long distance relationship with my high school sweetheart. We were both attending different universities in different states, and while we tried to make it work, it was not easy. We had to deal with time differences, busy schedules, and limited communication due to our studies. Eventually, we decided to end the relationship, but the experience taught me a lot about what it takes to make a long distance relationship work.
Why Long Distance Relationships are Challenging in College
College is a time of growth and exploration, and being in a long distance relationship can make it difficult to fully immerse oneself in the college experience. Additionally, college students often have busy schedules with classes, studying, and extracurricular activities, leaving little time for maintaining a long distance relationship. Finally, the limited communication options available in the pre-smartphone era made it difficult to stay connected with a partner who was far away. However, with the advent of technology, there are now more ways than ever to stay connected with a long distance partner.
In this article, I will share my tips and advice on how to make a long distance relationship work during the college years, based on both my personal experience and my expertise in relationships psychology.
Tips for Making Long Distance Relationships Work in College
Long distance relationships can be challenging, especially for college students who are also trying to balance their academic and social lives. However, with the right mindset and strategies, you can make your long distance relationship work and even thrive. Here are some tips:
Communicate Regularly and Effectively
Communication is key in any relationship, but it becomes even more important when you are miles apart from each other. Make sure to set aside time to talk to your partner regularly, whether it’s through video calls, phone calls, texting, or email. Be honest and open about your feelings, and listen actively to your partner’s concerns and needs. Avoid playing games or hiding things from each other, as this will only create more distance and distrust.
Make Time for Each Other
Even if you have busy schedules, it’s important to prioritize your relationship and make time for each other. This could mean scheduling regular date nights, sending surprise care packages or letters, or planning trips to see each other in person. By showing your partner that they are a priority in your life, you can strengthen your bond and build a sense of intimacy.
Set Expectations and Goals
It’s important to have a clear understanding of what you both want from the relationship and where it’s headed. Talk about your expectations, boundaries, and goals, and make sure you are on the same page. This will help you avoid misunderstandings and conflicts down the road. You can also set joint goals, such as graduating together, traveling to a certain destination, or moving in together after college, to give you something to work towards.
Trust Each Other
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and it’s especially crucial in a long distance one. Make sure to be honest and transparent with each other, and avoid giving your partner any reason to doubt your loyalty or commitment. If you do have concerns or insecurities, talk about them openly and work together to find solutions. Remember that trust takes time to build, but it can be shattered in an instant.
Find Ways to Stay Connected
There are many ways to stay connected with your partner, even if you are far apart. You can watch movies or TV shows together using streaming services like Netflix Party, play online games or apps together, or share your favorite music or podcasts. You can also send each other photos, memes, or funny videos to keep things light and playful.
Make Plans for the Future
One of the biggest challenges of a long distance relationship is the uncertainty of the future. To alleviate this anxiety, it’s important to make plans for the future together. This could mean talking about your post-college plans, discussing potential job opportunities in each other’s cities, or even making a long-term commitment like engagement or marriage. By having a shared vision for the future, you can build a sense of security and stability in your relationship.
| Tip | Description |
|---|---|
| Communicate Regularly and Effectively | Set aside time to talk to your partner regularly and be honest and open about your feelings. |
| Make Time for Each Other | Prioritize your relationship and make time for each other through regular date nights, care packages, or trips to see each other. |
| Set Expectations and Goals | Talk about your expectations, boundaries, and goals to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. |
| Trust Each Other | Be honest and transparent with each other, and avoid giving your partner any reason to doubt your loyalty or commitment. |
| Find Ways to Stay Connected | Watch movies or TV shows together, play online games or apps together, or share your favorite music or podcasts. |
| Make Plans for the Future | Discuss your post-college plans, job opportunities, or even make a long-term commitment like engagement or marriage. |
Challenges of Long Distance Relationships in College
Long distance relationships are never easy, and they can be especially difficult for college students. College is a time of change and growth, and being apart from your partner can make it feel like you’re missing out on important experiences. Here are some of the most common challenges of long distance relationships in college:
Feeling Isolated and Lonely
One of the biggest challenges of being in a long distance relationship in college is feeling isolated and lonely. College is a time when you’re surrounded by new people and experiences, and being apart from your partner can make it feel like you’re missing out. It’s important to find ways to stay connected with your partner, whether that’s through phone calls, video chats, or even snail mail. You can also try to make new friends and get involved in activities on campus to help combat feelings of loneliness.
Dealing with Jealousy
Jealousy can be a major issue in any relationship, but it can be even more challenging in a long distance relationship. When you’re apart from your partner, it’s easy to imagine the worst-case scenario and start feeling jealous of their new friends or experiences. It’s important to communicate openly with your partner about your feelings and to trust each other. You can also make plans to visit each other and share your experiences to help ease feelings of jealousy.
Managing Different Time Zones
If you and your partner are in different time zones, it can be a challenge to find time to connect. You may need to adjust your schedules to make time for each other, or find creative ways to stay connected. For example, you could record video messages for each other to watch when you have time, or use a shared calendar to keep track of each other’s schedules.
Balancing School and Relationship
College is a time when you’re focused on your education and building your future, which can make it difficult to balance your relationship with your schoolwork. It’s important to communicate with your partner about your priorities and to find ways to support each other. You can also try to find ways to study together or take breaks to spend time with each other.
Financial Constraints
Long distance relationships can also be expensive, especially if you’re trying to visit each other frequently. It’s important to be honest with each other about your financial constraints and to find creative ways to stay connected without breaking the bank. You could try planning budget-friendly trips or finding free activities to do together.
| Challenge | Solution |
|---|---|
| Feeling isolated and lonely | Stay connected through phone calls, video chats, or snail mail. Make new friends and get involved in activities on campus to combat feelings of loneliness. |
| Dealing with jealousy | Communicate openly with your partner about your feelings and trust each other. Make plans to visit each other and share your experiences to help ease feelings of jealousy. |
| Managing different time zones | Adjust your schedules to make time for each other or find creative ways to stay connected, such as recording video messages or using a shared calendar. |
| Balancing school and relationship | Communicate with your partner about your priorities and find ways to support each other. Study together or take breaks to spend time with each other. |
| Financial constraints | Be honest about your financial constraints and find creative ways to stay connected without breaking the bank, such as planning budget-friendly trips or finding free activities to do together. |
Conclusion
Long distance relationships in college can work. It takes effort, commitment, and communication from both partners. Having a plan and setting expectations can help make the distance more bearable. Trust, honesty, and loyalty are also important factors for a successful long distance relationship.
From personal experience, I can say that being in a long distance relationship in college was challenging but also rewarding. It taught me the value of communication and the importance of making time for each other. It also made our reunions more special and meaningful.
If you are currently in a long distance relationship or considering one, remember that it is possible to make it work. Surround yourself with a support system, stay positive, and focus on the end goal. With the right mindset and strategies, you and your partner can overcome the distance and strengthen your relationship.
- Have a plan and set expectations
- Communicate regularly and effectively
- Trust, honesty, and loyalty are key
- Make time for each other
- Stay positive and focus on the end goal
Long distance relationships in college may not be easy, but they can certainly be worth it.